I'm a cow.

There are a variety of reasons why I am a cow, now, but it's not important to discuss them here. Briefly, they include pregnancy, depression, health problems, knee problems, back problems, inactivity, loneliness, and self-medication by ice cream.

But I am working on these things. And I am working out at a gym, now, four days a week. Two of those four days I spend with my personal trainer, Scott.

Scott tells me that it doesn't matter what I weigh, as long as I can see progress in the way I feel - my energy level, my back feeling stronger, less pain in my knees, my clothing sizes going down, etc. And all of these have been happening, thanks to my perserverence and Scott's expertise and motivation.

But the one thing that really proves, more than anything, how I am progressing, is the SCAMABILITY SCALE. That is to say, who is scamming - macking, hitting - on me at any given time.

The SCAMABILITY SCALE converts pounds into their equivalent attractiveness to various segments of the American public:*

*This scale is calibrated for a 5'9" woman.

I would be happy to reach at least 190, but 160 would be ideal.

Update (07-07-2003): I have currently moved from the "Toothless Drifters" to the "Drunks" level, if last evening at my local (McCann's Irish Pub) is any indication.

Update (08-13-2004): In spite of a 2nd pregnancy and having a baby in June, I've managed to hover between "drunks" and "lesbians." Wow. The fact that I'm actually proud of that is sad.