Someone emailed me a list of "uses" for BOUNCE fabric softener dryer sheets. I decided to re-write it. (Items from the original list are in bold).

Freshens up homeless people: The next time you get hit up for change, hand the bum a sheet of Bounce and say, "Gee, maybe if you smelled like spring rain, you'd get a job."

Doubles as toilet paper in a pinch: Tired of getting stuck in a public restroom without a square to spare? Keep used sheets of Bounce in your purse and you'll always have a sweet-smelling, static free bum!

Dissolves plaque from dentures: Don't have time to soak 'em? Clean with a used sheet of Bounce.

Freshens the air in your home: Tired of smelling your husband's stinky farts? Line his undies with sheets of Bounce so his gas is lemony fresh.

Prevents thread from tangling: Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce to eliminate the static cling on the thread before sewing.

A) I've never had a problem with static in my sewing thread, and

B) How many people actually SEW anything any more?

Eliminates static cling from pantyhose

So does water, and water doesn't snag. Pantyhose themselves make excellent boot or leather shoe polishers, by the way.

Prevents musty suitcases: Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

Oh, yeah, hate those damn musty suitcases! Happens to me ALL the time...

Cleans baked-on food from a cooking pan: Put a sheet in the pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agents apparently weaken the bond between the food and the pan while the fabric softening agents soften the baked-on food.

Um... simply soaking a pan overnight (without the Bounce) will likely have the same effect... especially when combined with hot water and a little drop of... um... soap?

Eliminates odors in wastebaskets: Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.

"Eliminate," no. "Mask," maybe. If your wastebasket stinks so much that you can smell it, maybe you should think about washing it out with some Pinesol instead of wasting expensive fabric softener sheets?

And now, Coca-Cola:

Are Bounce and Coke owned by the same company?

To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. . . . and WE DRINK THIS STUFF! haha

Um... speak for yourself. Not all of us drink it. See COKE VS. WATER