Hurricane sweeps through toddler's room

RALEIGH - In what parents were calling “a disaster area,” giant insects took over the transportation system, Polly Pocket families were forced to flee from their homes, and a popular “Toy Story” character sustained major injuries in an area toddler’s room Thursday.

Hurricane Tara stands defiantly beside her bed as a xylophone alligator gnaws a helpless Piglet and Woody lays nearby in a confused stupor. It is believed that the toddler acted alone in one of the shortest and most destructive waves of toy-playing in family history.

Jennifer Hilton, 31, of Raleigh, was the first to discover the chaotic scene.

“Ouch! Goddamn it!” she said, surveying the wreckage in bare feet. “These goddamn legos are everywhere!”

“Gawdamut,” repeated Tara Hilton, 2 ½, the party thought responsible for the destruction. Street name “the little monster,” she already has a record which includes dumping all of the cat’s food into his water bowl, spilling her milk all over the couch, trampling a banana into the carpet, and wiping her bare, poopy butt on the living-room wall.

“We call her ‘Hurricane Tara,’” Hilton said.

Fire and EMS services could not reach the scene, as all trucks, cars and ambulances were under the control of a rubber spider, grasshopper, scorpion and centipede - all of whom refused to cooperate.

And in what was once a scene of domestic tranquility, residents of the Fisher Price Family Home were forced to evacuate while their furniture was thrown onto the lawn.

The diminutive Polly Pocket community fared little better, with the wreckage of heart-shaped condominiums and jeweled apartments scattered to the four corners of the room.

“You’re going to lose all of these little tiny princesses, horsies and babies if you don’t keep them up off the floor!” said Hilton. “Mommy’s going to vacuum them up one of these days!”

In what may have been the most disturbing action, Woody of “Toy Story” fame was trapped under a fire truck Still conscious but apparently delirious, he said, “Is that you? I didn’t recognize you there. Buzz! Look out, it’s an alien. Alright, buster, draw!” Buzz lay silently near by, his glazed eyes staring at a stucco ceiling covered with glow-in-the-dark stars.

When asked to help mommy pick up all the crap in here, Tara Hilton said, “No! I no want to any more.”

Fire and EMS services were hijacked by large rubber insects.

Threatened with a spanking, she said, “No, I want peanut butter on a spoon.”

The spanking threat had not been carried out as of presstime, and no word yet on the peanut butter spoon.

Nick Jr.'s beloved Oswald was found in a compromising position with Monster’s Inc. darling Boo. When asked why he was wearing one of the human child’s socks, he had no comment. Boo sang a short, indiscernable song.

All rubber insects were eventually removed from the hijacked emergency response vehicles, and the vehicles stacked neatly one-inside-the-other the way they're supposed to go.

Mr. Noodle, a refugee from Elmo’s World, was allowed to remain in the Fisher Price dollhouse. The two-story family home was one of the few structures which remained standing during the destructive toy-playing spree.

Despite more than 15 minutes spent picking up the pieces in the aftermath of Hurricane Tara, one last damn puzzle piece was still missing.